It is quite widely known that the members of Lancaster Castle Lodge No 5952 are not averse to taking the ‘odd tincture’ or partaking of an occasional ‘small libation’, purely in very moderate measure you understand, at lodge functions. However, on this particular occasion both they and their guests weren’t suffering from alcohol induced hallucinations we are reliably informed, but were taking part in ‘pig racing’ at the ‘Alternative Ladies Evening’ organised by the WM Keith Heys and his wife Di at Rowley Court, Lancaster. It has also become known that a variety of ‘alternative’ events and competitions were staged, specifically ‘fanciest garter’ and ‘flashiest bow tie’. Apparently, some of the garters worn by the men were outstanding!
What has become very evident from various reports is that there appeared to be a definite ‘porcine’ sty-le to the evening involving the use of toy pigs for racing! Facts have proved difficult to corroborate, as no one interviewed wanted to be labelled ‘a squealer’ or ‘face the chop’. It appears that the evening did not prove ‘boar-ing’, no rash-er, comments were made, ‘sow’ everyone had a good time. Not wishing to ‘pork fun’ at the attendees but one must question the wisdom of one competitor, obviously a rank ‘ham-ateur’ who apparently thought the application of ‘blu tack’ to his pig’s feet would help it win. Wiser competitors used ‘oinkment’
The evenings menu featured a predictable ‘hog roast’ that the guests ‘troughed’ with enthusiasm. Commenting on the success of the evening, Keith said that a similar event next year was now ‘bacon-ing’ and he hoped that more people would ‘trotter long’! So why not, ‘gamm-on’ and join in the fun?